On the other hand, he respects the opinion of voters, especially with his third, and supposedly final, election to City Hall looming.
Just how dysfunctional has DCPI become? Well, when asked for a response to your letter, the question was kicked all the way up to Inspector Ed Mullin, the office’s commanding officer. The answer: no comment.
THE DREAM. A couple of months ago, Your Humble Servant was asked by the New York Post’s book editor to review a book.
Truth to tell, I was flattered. Despite the Post’s Cro-Magnon editorials, its Sunday book section is sharp and focused, and something of a small gem.
The book I was assigned was “Bad Cop” — subtitle, “New York’s least likely police officer tells all.” The author, Paul Bacon, may have been a washout as a cop but he sure can write. In grotesque and hilarious detail, he depicts the gritty, frightening and thankless world of a New York City police officer.
The editor and I agreed on a price. On Feb. 17th I sent in my review.
Imagine my surprise when I opened my Post the following Sunday, February 22nd. Instead of my review, my words appeared in a news story under the headline, “Tales from NYPD’s own Keystone Kop,” and the byline “Cynthia R. Fagan,” a Post reporter.
Was I dreaming? Had I awoken too early and imagined this? Reader, you decide. Here are the opening paragraphs of the review I wrote:
“When we meet Paul Bacon — Police Officer Paul Bacon, that is — he is wrestling on the floor of an Old Navy store in Harlem with a 250-pound, coked-up shoplifter, whose welfare card identifies him — if you can believe it — as “Geraldine Harris.”
“In the midst of their struggle, Bacon’s partner, Police Officer Clarabel Suarez — yes, Clarabel — takes out her pepper spray and mistakenly maces Bacon in the face.”
Here are the opening paragraphs of Cynthia R. Fagan’s news story:
“When we meet Officer Paul Bacon, he’s wrestling with on the floor of an Old Navy in Harlem with a coked-up, 250-pound shoplifter whose welfare card identifies him — to the cop’s disbelief — as “Geraldine Harris.”
In the midst of their struggle, his partner, Officer Clarabel Suarez, reaches for her pepper spray ….”
Fagan’s news story was about the size of my review, which I ended this way:
“The hapless Bacon finally throws in his police towel when, after completing a day tour at the Two-Eight, he is assigned to a midnight counter-terrorism security detail at Police Plaza. A friendly cop gives him the keys to his nearby patrol car so that Bacon can “coop,” or sleep, for a couple of hours. But Bacon somehow locks himself inside the car and has to call 911 for assistance.
“As Clarabel drives him home his last night on the job, he announces he wants to marry her. Her response reflects Bacon’s three misspent years in the NYPD.
“’That’s sweet,’ she replied, patting my hands, ‘but the only reason I’d marry you back is for the life insurance, ’cuz you’re not long for this world.’”
Here is the ending of Cynthia R. Fagan’s news story.
“Ultimately, though, Bacon realizes that the NYPD isn’t right for him. Assigned to a midnight counter terrorism security detail at Police Plaza, he’s given the keys to a nearby patrol car to nap. But Bacon somehow locks himself inside the car and has to call 911 for assistance.
“As Suarez drives him home on is last night on the job, he announces he wants to marry her.
“‘That’s sweet,” she replied, patting my hands, ‘but the only reason I’d marry you is for the life insurance, ’cuz you’re not long for this world.’”
[To be continued]